Dreamin’ all these worlds –

Do you think people can arrive in your dreams in a significant way? In a way that gives proof to a connection not known by the conscious?

Here’s something you didn’t know about me – I think they do. I hope they do. It might be foolish, but sometimes I let my dreams guide my life.

Important people in my life enter my dreams and share a similar presence. There is always a tangible presence, something familiar and shared among their appearances. It started with B, I suppose. At least in this section of my life. When I met her she was everywhere in my dreaming world, and she knew it. We had some kind of connection that was built into us. She made me believe in something. Granted, our relationship was volatile, but that didn’t stop her from showing up in my dreams. Since then, I’ve been dreaming of people in similar ways. Their presence in my dreams shares some kind of kinship of importance. And this past weekend a stranger entered my dreams and made me reevaluate my life. It was a simple embracing, a simple  direction of his energy focused on me, that made me start to think when I woke up.

Being home makes me happy, it makes me feel comfortable, and I’m drawn to it for some reason besides it’s comfort. There is something there, waiting for me to find it. Even if it’s just myself. And I cannot afford to pass up that opportunity.

Hopefully Avalon will work out what she needs to and we can live together again. It would be incredible if we could open chapters of our lives together again. I’ll find work, spend a year going to school part-time, and then finish with a solid senior year. One year late won’t be too bad, I don’t think.

I don’t have expectations, really. I just know I need to go to school back home.



Filed under Love line

8 responses to “Dreamin’ all these worlds –

  1. edwardestlin

    I think it’s so bizarre that you think this deeply about relationships and the connections it has with you and your every day life.
    It’s probably good that you do, but do you ever just let loose and go with the flow? Some of the best relationships/friendships just happen because one gets lucky.
    You’re such a free spirit that I’m surprised that you don’t just let yourself free fall more often.
    Maybe I’m too much of a nihilist.

    • Oh, I love the free fall. Some of my most incredible relationships were brought on that way. The last minute decision to go to a party leading to meeting an amazing person, or group of people.

      I just haven’t been in a place to let myself do that recently. For some reason I’ve grown afraid of losing control…despite the fact that that is the one thing I truly need to do.

      I love the fall, I just need to let myself again.

      • Also, what I’m trying to get at isn’t about analyzing a relationship per se, it’s an exploration of connection. It’s romantic and out of this world, and kind of ridiculous. But I’m trying to verbalize a feeling of connection I have found in certain individuals through out my life, some gained by letting loose…some gained by analyzing.

      • edwardestlin

        Your wordy blog entries just blow me out of the water. It’s a small view into your head or into some of your thoughts, and it’s really fascinating.
        However, I’m curious if the location should/could/would make a difference in the connections you/one make(s). No matter where I ever am, I’m awkward and still, and connections are difficult to come by for me.

        Is it a matter of being comfortable or being comfortable with yourself?

      • I think it’s a matter of both. Ideally it should just be finding comfort in yourself, but I need both. If I’m not comfortable with the situation, the people, or the circumstance I find myself in, I find it really difficult to be myself. I’m not a naturally extroverted person anyways, I tend to gravitate to silence and analyzing my surroundings. But if I’m comfortable and happy, or drunk (haha), that just falls away. I think most things are dependent on the situation and mindset. You can be however you feel like being in any given moment, you’ve just got to realize it. It’s hard to break away from boxes you put yourself in. For me it’s being quiet and generally standoffish (though I don’t mean to be).

        It’s all about comfort when it comes down to it. If you are comfortable enough to shed the restrictions you put on yourself long enough to have fun.

        I’m glad you’re interested in my writing!

  2. Yeah, come on home!
    And I remember those dreams you two had. It was a little crazy, I’ll admit.
    But I cant wait for you to come back!


  3. Haha, yeah it’s going to be so fun!
    And I remember some crazy dreams you had too ;-).


  4. How have you been?
    Its’ gr8 to catch up with your posts!
    Hang in there!

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